Being swaddled
or held close to your body, hearing your voice or your heartbeat, and being rocked gently are all comforting to little ones because they simulate your baby’s life before birth. When a newborn is held away from your body or unwrapped and placed in a large bassinet or crib, they may feel unsafe and/or insecure. Newborn wraps and/or carriers
are favorites of many new parents because they’ll allow you to keep your baby safely and comfortably “attached” to your body (their favorite thing!) while allowing your hands to be free.
2. Newborns sleep 16-18 hours out of every 24, but in short 1-2 hour spurts.
Some newborn sleep cycles can be as short as 15 minutes. Some children have a harder time with sleep while others seem to be able to rest without any difficulty. But one thing is universal with newborns and sleep: parents don’t get a lot of it in the very beginning because newborns don’t cluster their rest time! If you’re worried about sleep before your baby is born or you’re already a new parent and you’re exhausted, there is expert advice and support nearby. Some days and nights will be harder than others, but as every parent of an older child will tell you: it won’t last and you will sleep again. I promise!
3. Feed your baby on demand, but be sure it’s at least 8 times in every 24 hours.
This is true regardless of whether your baby is getting breastmilk, formula, or some of both. Sometimes your baby will need to eat even more often (research growth spurts!) and that’s okay. If you’re concerned your baby isn’t getting enough, track their wet diapers and call your pediatrician. Almost all babies lose weight immediately after birth, but gain it back by the time they are 2 weeks old.
4. NOW is the best time to start Tummy Time with your baby!
This designated daily time when parents are down on the
floor “playing”
with their newborns has been shown to help develop connection, posture, movement, oral and gross motor skills in newborns. Does your newborn “hate” tummy time, or do you find yourself hesitant to do it as often as you should? There are ways to help your baby learn to love it! Find a class taught by a
certified pediatric physicial therapist
and/or tummy time expert. It’s a great opportunity to socialize with other new parents AND learn how to make this important developmental building block enjoyable for the whole family.
5. Newborns should have at least 6 wet diapers every 24 hours by Day 4 of life.
Many diapers will be dirty as well as wet, and it can be hard in the beginning to know for sure if your baby has urinated. The key is the weight of your baby’s diaper. Hold a dry diaper and notice how light it is. Then pour some water into it and notice how it gets significantly heavier as soon as it absorbs the moisture. Wet diapers are almost always noticeably heavier than diapers with only stool in them. When in doubt, look for the indicator line to change color on the outside of the diaper - but be sure to look in the front for boys, and the back for girls!
6. A “witching hour” (or hours!) in the evenings when your baby is harder to soothe is common.
It can even start as early as a day or two after your baby is born. Many parents find themselves dreading the sunset, in anxious anticipation of the crying that is about to commence. Share the job of soothing with your partner (someone has to remain hands-free to heat up dinner!) and take a break if and when you need one. Call your pediatrician if you are concerned.
7. Books cannot prepare you, they can only guide you.
There are many wonderful books that have been written for both expectant and new parents, and I recommend them A LOT. But, if you think reading alone will adequately prepare you for new parenthood, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Books are great starting points, but shouldn’t take the place of a class, connecting with an expert, or asking friends who have recently become parents for tips. Just don’t be phased by any “war stories” you hear…people tell them because they’re a lot more dramatic and exciting than the ones where things go smoothly! If there’s one thing I’ve noticed again and again, it’s that the fear of the unknown is almost always more overwhelming than the actual experience ends up being. Know what to expect by planning ahead!
8. Don’t ask Facebook or Dr. Google for medical advice - that’s what your pediatrician is for.
The lure of a quick reply via social media or the internet will get the better of new parents quite often. Who else is awake with you in the middle of the night to answer your most pressing questions?! Just remember that Dr. Google does not have a medical degree and although the moms on your Facebook Groups are well meaning, their advice may not be the right advice for your family. Your relationship with your baby’s pediatrician is one of the most important doctor/patient relationships you will ever have. Do your research, ask questions and pick a practice that feels like a “fit” for your family well in advance of your due date.
9. Babies will cry when they need something. Never ignore a crying newborn.
Crying is the way that newborns communicate. A crying newborn may be trying to tell you they are hungry, wet/dirty, cold, hot, gassy, sleepy, overstimulated, sick or even bored! In the beginning all cries sound the same so it can be challenging for new parents to recognize the specific need right away. What’s most important is to note that your baby’s developing brain is shaped by how you treat him or her. Your loving attention to cries teaches your newborn early on to trust you and to trust others – an important foundation for their future emotional health.
10. Self-care is not a luxury for new parents, it’s a necessity. Identify what YOU need, communicate with your partner, schedule it into each day.
Reading a chapter in a good book alone, away from your baby, taking a hot shower alone, while your partner watches your baby, going for a walk around the block alone, while your partner cares for your baby….notice a trend?? New parents need to step away from their newborns to truly unplug and identify what it is that replenishes their energy, even if it’s only for 10 minutes a day. Caring for yourself will make you a better caregiver for your little one.