The thing about parenting advice is that it spans a wide spectrum, everyone thinks they know best, every generation changes up the dos and don’ts, and as a new or anxious parent, it can all feel very overwhelming. Add in social media, and it is enough to make a person feel crazy.
To me, the best advice is to do what feels right. Read the theories, the different opinions, and pull from all the information what resonates with you, and what you have success with. If you aren’t feeling that success, you’re feeling overwhelmed, or you’ve just hit a wall – consult an expert. Maybe that expert will be helpful or maybe they won’t, but they can help clarify the rationale behind why they do it the way they do.
In terms of mealtimes, and many areas of life with children, a schedule can be helpful. A lot of adults hear ‘schedule’ and feel constricted. They don’t want to be held to a strict set of daily requirements, they want to be able to run out of the house whenever they want, or be spontaneous, plan their day or their weekend on the fly, or accept a last minute invitation. Other people love strict schedules – it gives them a sense of control and predictability. This sense of predictability is what is most helpful when dealing with children.
[Most] Kids like to know what to expect, and what is expected of them. It creates a sense of comfort and familiarity, and calm – all things that are very beneficial to children.
Rather than adhering to a strict and rigid timetable/schedule, consider these four guidelines to keep mealtimes on track in your home:
#1 Come to the Table
Once past exclusive breast or bottle feeding, children should come to the table about three – five times per day. Three meals, and two snacks is average for most children. Sure, snacks can be on the go, but I personally recommend bringing them to the table anytime they are eating when possible.
#2 Stick to a "Schedule"
Mealtimes and snacks should follow a predictable routine – breakfast soon after they wake up, a mid-morning snack, lunch, mid-afternoon snack, dinner. The specific times aren’t that important, but kids should be able to predict when they are going to have access to food and what is expected of them (as in, coming to the table).
#3 Have a Mealtime Routine
Meals should follow a familiar routine – call them to the table, perhaps your family does a blessing of some sort, family/eating time, clean up time.
#4 Keep the Mood Light
Even if eating is a challenge for your kiddo, the most important thing that happens at mealtimes is family interaction, social development, and connection. If you are feeling overwhelmed, worried, or anxious about your child’s behavior or health in terms of mealtimes – reach out for support!