Amelia is our virtual assistant extraordinaire & one of the potty and sleep consultants on our team. She recently started the potty-training journey with her two year old and was willing to share all the feels about that and her lessons learned, for anyone who needs to hear them...
"I am Amelia, and I am the administrative assistant for Confident Parenting as well as a potty coach. I have been working for Confident Parenting for about 2 years. I love working for this business for a few reasons, one of them being that it allows me to have time to spend with my kiddo who will be 3 shortly. We decided over the summer that we would start potty-training, and I will admit, I felt pretty confident that I could do it. I have potty trained children in daycare and therapy settings and support other families through the same process. How hard could it be?! Well, here are three lessons I've learned, so far, along the way.
Lesson #1: It's Harder When It's Your own Kiddo
The problem was that now I had to do this with my
child, which felt a lot more daunting and emotional. My child is sweet as can be...until he’s not. He also has an expressive language disorder that creates an additional obstacle for us in some scenarios. I was a little nervous to get started because I had some concerns about communication, but I knew we would figure it out together and that the rest of the Confident Parenting Team would certainly give me some support if I needed it. So we dove in and took the diapers away!
Lesson #2: Even the "Experts" Get Derailed
We were doing great...and then a terrible stomach bug hit our house and went on for days. The timing was terrible and I made the executive decision that we needed the diapers to survive that week. By the end of that week, we had a new problem. We hadn’t seen a bowel movement for more than 48 hours. That sounds pretty alarming, but the pediatrician wasn’t terribly concerned because there wasn’t much eating happening. We decided to wait 24 more hours.
By the next morning, there were no longer stomach bug symptoms, but we were dealing with crying and whining pretty non-stop. My poor kiddo was asking us to carry him from room to room, but just would not settle. We were concerned about dehydration, so we went to the local Children’s hospital. We are very lucky and we live very close to top children’s hospitals. When we arrived he continued to be sad and cry off and on. The medical professionals could not have been more patient and kind with us, especially the grown ups. We were very nervous parents! We ended up getting an X-ray and an ultrasound. The ultrasound technician was amazing, and my little one slept through the entire thing. The X-ray was not such a simple endeavor. We didn’t have to leave, but I couldn’t keep my kiddo snuggled up in my arms. There were a lot of tears, but again the techs were wonderful and went as quickly as possible.
Then an attending physician came to speak with us and explained a Post-Viral Ileus. It was a concept that I had not heard of before (and neither had my mom). The Dr. explained that sometimes when children have a particularly bad stomach bug, their Gastrointestinal system slows itself down but sometimes a little too much. So in this case it needs a little jump start. An enema, which I’ll admit sounded much worse than it actually was. The staff member who came to help us had a very precise system and she did it in, I would guess, less than 30 seconds. Then we waited a few minutes for a bowel movement and we got to go home good as new! I decided that we all needed to recover from this illness/our emergency room adventure.
Lesson #3: A Reset is Always Possible (But It's No Less Daunting!)
We kept the diapers for 6 weeks before trying again. Once that experience felt far enough behind us, we decided it was time to reset with potty-training. When we finally got to our restart day on the calendar, I was terrified. I absolutely did not want to do anything that could disrupt this little person’s bowel movements. From potty coach experience, I know all too well how common it is for kiddos to withhold their poo. Even though I was nervous, I knew those nerves wouldn’t go away if I waited any longer. So I ripped the band aid off and we removed the diapers from our days entirely. It has now been more than a week since we have used a “white box diaper”, as my little one calls them, during waking hours.
On the first day he held the poop all day and my nerves started to bubble up. But almost as soon as I decided to relax about it, so did he. We had success on the potty and it was like a switch clicked. We are now going strong accident free for almost a week!
Lesson #4: It Takes a Village
I was surprised by my anxiety over approaching and reapproaching the process, given my experience. I was also surprised by how many questions popped up that I wanted a neutral (read "not highly emotional and overly invested) person to weigh in on. It just proves that this parenting gig really does take a village, even if you are a supposed "expert".
If you are nervous about jumping into the potty-training process, we are moms who have been through it, or are currently going through it, as well as certified coaches and we are here to help!