Is
potty-training
threatening to disrupt your child’s sleep habits? Are they suddenly stalling at bedtime or waking overnight? Here are our team's top tips for maximizing sleep and maintaining your sanity while potty-training.
Tip 1: Remember, Potty-Training is a Major Developmental Milestone
Did sleep take a hit when your child learned to roll, stand, walk or talk? As with any milestone, potty-training is likely to cause temporary disruptions in sleep, bowel and eating habits as well as in your child’s overall mood and behavior. While frustrating, disturbances or regressions in other areas are to be expected when the body and brain are taking a big leap in another area. This too, shall pass!
Bonus Pro Tip:
Stop waiting for parenting to get easy, lol. Instead realize that, for most of us, it will just get "different". Things that were easy may become hard but things that previously felt really tough will likely smooth out. Relish what is working for your family and don't sweat what isn't. Nothing lasts forever.
Tip 2: Tackle Daytime Training Only First
A child can be taught to recognize and act on the sensation of needing to go while awake. Doing the same when asleep though cannot be consciously taught, depends on many factors, and is often sometimes attained naturally and without an active training process along with or not long after daytime training has been mastered. Put them in a pull up for sleep and let them know it is okay to use the pull up at sleep times. You might say something like, "Sleep lasts a long time and your body might not wake up to go, so we will use this just for sleep." If you prefer to just address daytime learning first and wait to see where that takes you, go for it. Continue to use a diaper or pull-up for sleep, don't stress if/when your child uses it, and set an age or date to revisit nighttime progress or training.
Bonus Pro Tip:
If your child is 3.5 years or older and/or if daytime training is not progressing
and/or if they begin to hold all their pee or poo for that sleep diaper, it could be an obstacle for them and you may need to reevaluate sooner. Not all children can learn and progress with this new approach while the "old" approach is still in the picture.
Tip 3: Normal Sleep Patterns May Be Interrupted
Because this learning process involves your child beginning to recognize the sensations of being wet or soiled and then the sensations of needing to go, they may begin to wake overnight, during naps or too early in the morning. Ultimately this level of body awareness is what will get you both out of this training process, so try to see this mind-body connection and the disruptions it may cause as a good thing and proof that learning is happening. On a brain level, their brain is likely on overdrive trying to put this all together and that too can cause disrupted patterns, much like you might experience if you have a huge work project or presentation the following day.
Bonus Pro Tip:
Be ultra-cautious to avoid introducing new, or reviving old, habits if your child begins to wake overnight. Know in advance what you will and won't do and don't respond or help more than is needed. For example, if you can respond at their doorway and tell them it is still time to sleep rather than pulling them into your bed or climbing into theirs, sleep will bounce back far more quickly.
Tip 4: Limit Beverages Before Bed to Head Accidents off at the Pass
Give your child a better chance at staying dry overnight by avoiding or at least seriously limiting beverages in the 1.5 to 2 hours before bed. This will be more comfortable for you to enforce if focus on making sure they drink well throughout the day. Also, be sure to make a potty stop at the beginning of the bedtime routine and consider a "double pee" - adding one more potty stop in just before the final tuck and lights out.
Bonus Pro Tip:
To avoid creating a "fun" habit of leaving the room and stalling at bedtime, consider placing a potty in their room for that last stop and for easy access, if needed, in the middle of the night.
Tip 5: Set Limits and Strike a Balance
Many children quickly realize they can use this milestone as an opportunity to delay bedtime. Your child may ask to go over and over, and bedtime may start to slip later and later. To avoid this, set limits on bathroom trips and strike a balance between respecting their need/desire to go and prioritizing their sleep needs. Sleep is critical for their overall health and for a smooth potty process so loving limits are necessary to establish and enforce. For example, you could have
a rule of “one more” at bedtime
and honor only that first bathroom request, but may need to say “enough is enough" after that… and stick to it. Tell your child that bathroom trips are all done or that “one-mores” are all done, and it’s time to sleep. And remind them that it’s okay to use their pull-up or diaper or, if there isn't one, the potty you have placed in their room. If you have a fluid cutoff and do the double pee and honor one "one-more" it is highly unlikely they will need to go again right then and there.
If your child wakes overnight asking to go you can use the same one-trip rule. Be sure to keep it boring! Walk them to the bathroom as silently as possible and march them back to bed. Do not redo the bedtime routine. Some children are ready to take themselves to the bathroom and back to bed overnight, and of course you can let your child know that is okay and encourage it. You can also create a potty station in their room: a potty atop a
waterproof mat or pad
with a box of wipes beside it. Other parents find it helpful to wake their child to use the potty before they go to bed themselves. This can help avoid an accident or them waking you right after you've fallen asleep. Not all children can wake enough for this to be effective but it’s worth a shot if you’re willing to try it.
Bonus Pro Tip:
Don't try a wake to pee at or after 4am. The drive to sleep in this hours are so low that your child may really struggle to return to sleep quickly and easily or at all.
Tip 6: Prepare for Accidents
No matter how well you prepare, accidents are inevitable because they are part of the learning process. Once your child can stay dry all night even on some nights, take that as a cue that the time is right to ditch the overnight diaper or pull-up, if you haven't already or if you were waiting until an older age/stage. When you do, you may want to be proactive about preparing for accidents. Anticipating some middle of the night bedding changes, it might help to double up the crib or bedding layers. For example, place a waterproof mattress protector and sheet over another layer of the same. That way when you need to remake the bed overnight, you strip the first layer off and…voila… a fresh, dry bed is ready and waiting underneath!
Bonus Pro Tip:
Skip the bedding layers in favor of washable or
disposable pads like Chux
and check out
diaper skirts
or shorts for extra peace of mind. You can even toss a fleece blanket over a wet bed and lay your child right back on it, creating a barrier of dryness and dealing with the wet bedding in the morning.
Most of all, remember to breathe and pat yourself on the back every time you hold it together in the face of this challenge...and to give yourself grace when you don’t. If this s&*t were easy (pun totally intended), we'd be out of jobs!