As the mom of three kids, I laughed (read: cried) at the
accuracy of the message. It’s so relatable - a scene played out in homes across the nation every day. Parents, tasked with keeping their children alive and healthy, continuously prepare three meals a day, and present those meals to rather unappreciative children.
It’s exhausting, demoralizing, and quite honestly - often infuriating. But we join with other parents in solidarity. It’s just a part of raising little humans...
Or is it?
As a professional – someone who has helped many families navigate difficult mealtimes – I have to say
that this is not a reality that parents have to accept.
The truth is that there isn’t much you can do about your child’s internal desire to eat the food that you lovingly prepare for them. But, there are loads of things that you CAN do to maintain your own sanity, and influence your child’s behavior, and the peacefulness of mealtimes in your home. As adults we are
conditioned to eat three meals per day. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Not only have we accepted that this as ‘just what you do’, it is also an enjoyable experience for many people. Although ‘the experts’ are now
saying several small meals throughout the day is actually a healthier and more sustainable way to eat –
maybe the children are on to something!
Children have the (often frustrating) benefit of not being susceptible to social and cultural norms the way that adults tend to be. They still believe that they can do whatever they want, whenever they want. And they also believe that if they aren’t hungry they shouldn’t have to eat – the nerve! These inherent (but maybe not wrong??) beliefs held by children impact their behavior at mealtimes, and throughout their entire day. Use your child’s completely natural developmental stage to inform your decisions, and decrease your stress.
In other words, expect from your children only what they are capable of and you will feel less frustrated by their lack of compliance.
I’m a big proponent of the family meal. But, not because of the food that is eaten. It’s a great time to check in with everyone, chat, and make family memories and connections. Family mealtime is a good opportunity to see how everyone is doing, and spend time together. It should not be an unpleasant experience, yet for many families it is.
I could write pages upon pages on the subject of fostering more cooperation and less stress at mealtimes, but instead I’m going to provide a few takeaways to help keep mealtimes pleasant for you and your children.
1. Maintain regular family mealtimes, but don’t focus so much on what is being eaten.
Rather, consider it a time to teach your children about the enjoyable nature of gathering at the table with people who are important to them.
2. Offer snacks between meals that provide some nutritional value, but don’t stress about it.
Consider everything that is consumed during the day as part of your child’s ‘meals’ for the day. This way, at mealtimes, there isn’t so much pressure to get the food in.
3. Appreciate that your child may actually be full when they sit at the table.
Have they been drinking a lot of fluids? Eating a lot of snacks between meals? Adjust your expectations of how much they will eat at family meal times based on what the rest of their day has looked like.
4. Always do your best to have one thing on the table that is enjoyed by each person, but don’t be a short order cook. Create one meal, and offer it to everyone without a lot of pressure to eat it.
Remember those snacks from point #2? Use those times to fill your little ones up with things that they enjoy, and that provide some nutritional value.
So you might be thinking to yourself, yeaaa, this sounds great in theory, but really I want my kiddo to try new things and I don’t know how. Well, I can help! Click the button below for some more information on how I can
help you manage mealtimes in your home!