Erica Desper, Bernadette Samuels and Amelia Kinsolving are moms supporting moms (and all parents) on the path to better sleep and smoother potty training, since 2010. Confident Parenting was named “Best” and "Family Favorite" resource by the Main Line Parent, Bucks County Parent and Philadelphia Family communities in 2022, their 9th and 10th and 11th accolade from parents! Meet the team here.
5 Things I Wish I'd Known As A Brand New Mom: To My Friends With Brand New Babies
5 Things I Wish I Knew as a First Time Mom: A Letter to My Friends with Brand New Babies

Two of my closest friends in the entire world have both had babies over the last 4 weeks. Watching my friends become Moms is one of the most exciting milestones I’ve ever experienced. My little boy is 4 and half now and watching these little babies has really taken me back to what those first postpartum weeks with my little guy felt like. Here is what I want to tell each of them and anyone else who needs to hear it…
Dear Friend,
This will all get easier.
I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but it will. In a few weeks or a few months, it will feel different and you will feel more confident. Every new mom I have ever met is questioning everything she’s doing. I promise you’re doing fine. I’m so proud of you.
Feed Your Baby.
Your friends and family are here to support you with whatever your goals are. There are resources available if breastfeeding is your jam and you need support. If breastfeeding is not your jam, that’s also fine. Feeding the baby, while also maintaining your sanity and joy, is what is important. If feeding is not going the way you expected, I know that is beyond difficult. I give you permission to feel, express and sit with all the feels surrounding that. Anyone who doesn’t, they are not. your. people. There are women who have been where you are and we are here to listen.
Don't Fall For Sleep Myths.
This is a big one. I have learned so much about sleep for babies and children over the 4 years of my kiddo’s life (Shout out to Erica Desper, the best boss ever, who will definitely not like that called her my “boss!”) I was under the impression that if you let a baby sleep “all day” they would not sleep at night and you would be in big trouble. Newborns need WAY more sleep than you think they do and keeping a baby awake for too long is what will lead to trouble. Overtired babies have difficulty falling and staying asleep (This rule of thumb continues as they grow too.) Your new baby has only a couple jobs: eat + sleep = grow. Follow their cues, and let them do their jobs.
Babies Don't "Spoil".
For a newborn, I don’t believe those things exist. My mom said to me when my son was born. “Babies don’t spoil. They aren’t fruit.” She was offering me reassurance that if what my brand new baby needed was to nurse, be rocked, or be worn for sleep that was totally ok. My “boss” says, “If you can’t baby your baby in the newborn stage, when can you?!” As babies get older and their brains start to organize, we can address helping them learn to sleep more independently, but especially right now, we want to get them the sleep they need and keep their stress hormones in check.
Ask For Resources & Accept Support
It takes a village. You are not Wonder Woman because she doesn’t exist. This job was never intended for one person or even two partners to do all alone. Ask for help or, at the very least, accept help when it is offered. If you don’t have the luxury of supportive friends and family nearby, you may need to build your own village but support IS out there. The Center For Confident Parenting & The Confident Parenting Special Needs Collective are great places to start. Our support is virtual, inclusive, judgment-free and comes from Moms still very much in the trenches.
With Love,
Amelia & the Confident Parenting Team
You might also be interested in:
4 Newborn Sleep Facts You Want To Know
Container Baby Syndrome: What Is It & How Can You Prevent It?





