5 Do's and Dont's for Smoother Potty-Training

Erica Desper

Our team has compiled a list of the top five things to avoid (and what to do instead!) when potty-training your toddler or preschooler..


As potty-training consultants, we help families approach and navigate the potty-learning process every day. While there isn’t necessarily a “right” or “wrong” way to approach the process that will work for every child, there are things you can do that can become stumbling blocks for many of the children we’ve worked with. Some children can progress no matter how you present it to them while others are much more specific. Our team has compiled a list of five very common obstacles to learning that you can address if you’ve already begun, or avoid if you are about to dive in…  

#1 Don't: Train While Wearing Diapers, Pull-Ups or Underwear

Many families present potty learning to their child while they are wearing a diaper, a pull-up, or pants and underwear. This may feel logical to you and may help keep your house cleaner. To your child however, this approach may make it harder to learn and/or willingly accept this new way to go. It is a BIG ask to be wearing the “security blanket” they have known and relied on 24/7 for years but to be expected not to use it, in favor of something “unknown”. Much like putting dinner and dessert on their plate and expecting them to make the choice to eat dinner first.

Additionally, underwear may feel very similar to a diaper or pull-up, causing your child to be less in tune to their bodily sensations, masking the urge to go, and offering an illusion of privacy that is hard to resist, leading your kiddo to pee and/or poop in what they are wearing. Jumping straight to it before any learning has happened may be too much too soon.

Do: Instead, consider ditching diapers and pull-ups altogether, at least when your child is awake. (For children 3.5 and older, ditching them even from sleep hours is often necessary. Check out our tips for preserving sleep here.) In addition, take a step back in the clothing layers until they are mostly accident free. Many children learn best when they are naked from the waist down, for at least the first few days, while others do well with loose short or pants but no underwear. Think of clothing in levels and make it your goal is to let them master one level or layer at a time.

#2 Don't: Make it a Hassle (For Your Child)

We’re talking about perceived hassle, from your child’s point of view. Think about it: The gig they had going on with diapers and pull-ups was a sweet one! They didn’t have to pay attention to their body, stop what they were doing, or leave the action and travel to another room. Now, they must do ALL those things, all day long. It may not seem like a fair trade or a trade they have any desire to make. Who can blame them?! This is a particular challenge for kiddos who don’t mind being wet or soiled and those who have FOMO (fear of missing out).

Do: Look for ways to bring the hassle factor down. Instead of expecting them to travel to the bathroom (yes, even if it is super close by), offer a potty wherever they are just for now. Rather than having them sit at timed and frequent intervals, when they may not even need to, watch for signs they clearly need to go and prompt them then. Additionally, skip any steps you feel you can at first. For example, do the wiping for them just for now and skip handwashing when you feel it is appropriate (pee is sterile!) or use hand sanitizer. If handwashing is a must for you every time, then at least make it fun! Check out Splatz soap for example. Your goal is to make this new way of going feel just as easy as the old way, or as close as we can get. 

#3 Don't Ask if They Need to Go

In addition to not prompting too often, consider how you are prompting your child to go. At ages 2 and 3, “No!” is their favorite word, am I right? Don't ask a question you already know the answer to and don't send a message that your child has a choice of whether to use the potty or not. (Don't freak out - we ARE going to offer choices, just not that one.) This is just what we do and where we do it now. Normalize it and exude confidence about the change.

Do: Instead of asking a question, make a statement, "It's time to pee/poo/potty", combined with a choice, so they feel in charge. We are taking a choice away from them and they want to assert themselves and have some ownership in this process. So, allow them to have some say over when and where they go. Here are some examples:

“It’s time to potty. Do you want to sit in one minute or two minutes?” (Set a timer according to their choice.)

“It’s potty time! Do you want to sit on the potty or the toilet?”

“It looks like you need to poop on the potty. Do you want a piggyback ride, or should I fly you like an airplane?”

"Sure. When you put pee in the potty, then we can (insert whatever your child just asked to do, eat or have.) Let me know when you are ready/done/need help."

The point is that YOU are still in control of the choices and/or in control of putting other things on hold until your child is ready to make a choice.

#4 Don't: Forget to Offer "Privacy"

Moving your bowels is a private function and, much like labor, the muscles involved respond to emotion. This is especially true with respect to poop. If your child is feeling anxious or vulnerable without the security blanket of a diaper or pull-up, that is normal and understandable. (Imagine how you would feel if you had to stand on the couch and poop!) Some children will get over it in time while others will need that security blanket feeling to be substituted until the novelty of this new way to go wears off. 

Do: Place the potty nearby for easy access but behind something like a couch, recliner or door. If they have a favorite spot where they hid to poop previously, consider placing the potty there. Have a large towel or blanket on hand and drape it across their legs or show your child how to wrap it around themselves to “hide” if they need to, while sitting on the potty or toilet. Some children need physical touch, like a bear hug or hand holding, to relax while others need you to make yourself scarce. Get them situated on the potty or toilet and then say something like, “Now where is my phone? I’ll be right back.” Then step away so they can do their thing. When in doubt, ask, “Do you want me to sit right here or wait outside the door?” Your goal is to offer the privacy they need to relax and release in this less familiar scenario. Check out some fun privacy options from our mini team members in the photos below!

#5 Don't: Solve a Struggle by Giving a Diaper or Pull-Up to Go In

This should be the #1 don’t because of how far it can set your child and the process back. If you are certain your child is ready and/or capable (read more on the difference here) and have carved out time for the process, fear, drama, and withholding are not a sign that you are wrong or that you should turn back. Solving fear by falling back on diapers and pull-ups may send several mixed messages to your child. This is fear of the new and of the unknown and, in most cases, is solved by supporting them through the fear until they realize there is nothing to be fearful of.

 In other cases, we are encountering a strong-willed child who will never move through the process so long as they believe diapers and pull-ups are still an option. They will simply learn to wait longer and get louder, making your attempts harder to navigate. Once this is no longer the lesser of two unequal options, it will be an option your child is totally fine with. We see this day in and day out.

Do: If you encounter fear and drama, think of yourself as a labor coach, supporting your child through “birthing” the poop. Get down on their level, speak in a low, slow voice and let them know you are there to help and their body knows what to do. Keep your vibe cool, casual, and confident. Due to mirror neurons in the brain, your child will reflect what you give off and, if yours is struggling to regulate in this new territory, you may need to regulate for them for now. This is referred to as co-regulation and is an incredibly powerful parenting tool. Speaking of tools, if your child holds their poo long enough that they may become uncomfortable, you can intervene via stool-softening foods added into their diet, supplements like Senna or Magnesium or even suppositories.

If you are struggling with these “do’s” or need support to sort through fear, withholding or constipation, our potty-training team and support team of dietitian nutritionists and occupational therapists are here for you. Learn more at the links below and reach out today! 

Learn More About Potty Support Schedule a Discovery Call Meet the Team

Erica Desper, Bernadette Samuels and Amelia Kinsolving are moms supporting moms (and all parents) on the path to better sleep and smoother potty training, since 2010. Confident Parenting was named “Best” and "Family Favorite" resource by the Main Line Parent, Bucks County Parent and Philadelphia Family communities in 2022, their 9th and 10th and 11th accolade from parents! Meet the team here.

By Amelia Kinsolving January 3, 2025
As I am typing this it is January 3rd. Welcome to the new year! We are planning to start our homeschool schedule again on Monday, and I am feeling like I am coming up for air after drowning in the holidays. The lack of our consistent daily schedule combined with extra holiday to-dos and a diet of holiday treats has left me feeling very foggy. I often feel like this after the holidays, so I know what I’m going to do over the next few days to give myself the breath that I need and to prepare to return to our regular life. Here are my tips for a post holiday reset. 1. Reset Your Space A favorite author/content creator K.C. Davis has a book called “How To Keep House While Drowning” . I highly recommend it. From the tips in this book, I have learned to reset my space as a kindness for myself. I use a visual timer and set 20-30 minutes (or 5 minutes if I’m feeling really bleh) and race the clock to get as much as I can done. For me this looks like returning toys to their bins, putting laundry in the hamper, dishes in the dishwasher etc. I am not deep cleaning anything, but rather just returning everything to its “home”. Post holidays, there are likely new toys in your space, so you will need to find those things homes. I did a Target drive up order for 2 new bins the day after Christmas even though I did my very very best to limit the new toys coming in. I’m convinced this is an un-winnable battle that goes on forever, but I try nevertheless. 2. Visual Schedule For Children We like to use visuals in my home. During the holiday we fall off of the bandwagon a bit, but today we will return to making sure the schedule is correct and up to date. Be cautious not to overpack your schedule this week. Return to your normal activities and be kind and patient with yourself. 3. Check Your Calendar For The Week Whatever calendar you use, check it and make sure you 100% know what’s on it for the week. Is it missing anything? Is there something on there that’s not correct? We are heading back into real life so we want to make sure your organizational tools are up to date. I have an appointment on my schedule for this week that had been entered incorrectly, but I managed to catch that this morning with this check in. 4. Groceries/A Plan To Eat Meals I have been surviving on holiday snacks and treats for a week. I did a grocery order and planned out our meals for the week. If you struggle with this area check out our friends at HomeCooked . 5. Laundry! I haven't touched the laundry since before Christmas, which is not a great move in a house with little humans. I am working to get the laundry mountain taken care of today. If this is an area where you struggle, you can check out our friends Lessen The Loads ! 5. Practice Self Care (Whatever That Means For You) In order to return to real life, you need to be kind to yourself. For me this looks like a walk outside with an audiobook. Whatever that looks for you, try to make some time for yourself, especially this week. Will I accomplish every single one of those goals to the extent that I would like to, probably not. However, having a plan and goals will help me to jump back into the swing of things and find the breath of air that I need.
Toddler sleeping during the holidays
By Erica Desper December 5, 2024
The busy holiday season is upon us. Even if you aren't traveling, the festivities and excitement of the season may still take a toll on your little one's sleep. Here are a few tips to keep in mind that can save just a small piece of your child’s slumber - and your sanity - this holiday season.
Baby Playing with Holiday Decorations
By Safer Babies December 1, 2024
Safer Babies has you covered with this list of practical ways to keep your little ones safe while decking the halls & celebrating at home. DECORATIONS Make sure your holiday decorations include items your child CAN touch & feel. Place any decoration that would not be safe if used as a toy out of reach of the child. Never leave your child alone in a room with lit candles. Don't leave lit candles near air vents, open windows, or ceiling fans, or on tablecloths or runners where they can get pulled down. Even better, consider using flameless candles. Keep holiday plants at a safer distance from young children & pets. Eating holly or mistletoe berries can cause nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and drowsiness. If eaten in sufficient amounts, severe symptoms can occur. Watch out for berries that fall to the floor. Poinsettia and Christmas tree needles may cause mouth/throat irritation, stomach upset, or irritate the skin if handled by children. So keep poinsettias at safe distance from young children, and vacuum tree needles regularly. Spray snow is safe when it is dry. But it is an aerosol that contains chemicals that can irritate the lungs, nose, and eyes if inhaled when spraying. Tip: Follow directions and spray in well-ventilated areas; don’t spray near children. Consider placemats rather than tablecloths. Tablecloths can get pulled leaving the hot, breakable or flammable contents of the table to fall. TREES Use a wide-based stand & secure your tree to the ceiling or wall with fishing line + an eye-hook. Consider using non-breakable ornaments. Plastic, cloth, paper, felt & ribbon decorations are great alternatives to fragile glass & ceramic. If you choose breakable ornaments, put them only on the upper branches of the tree, & attach them securely with florist wire. Use non-breakable ornaments on the lower branches. To prevent burns, use LED lights that stay cool. Replace ornament hooks with string or ribbon or florist wire. Do not put any chemical preservatives into the tree water. They might be toxic if your child ingests some of the water. Avoid trimmings that resemble candy or food that may tempt a young child to eat them. Do not use tinsel. It is easy to swallow and causes intestinal blockage. And it can wind around the baby's fingers, cutting off circulation. Also, certain brands contain lead. If the above suggestions don't work: consider placing a play yard gate system around the tree during the hours your little one is awake. Consider getting a tiny tabletop tree for your playroom, with kid-friendly ornaments, or hand made paper ornaments. Or use a paper or sticker material Christmas tree that can be affixed to the wall. Your child will have fun decorating and redecorating throughout the season and will love having one tree that is their domain GIFT WRAP Ribbons, gift wrap, packing material, and plastic wrapping pose choking, suffocation & fire dangers. Dispose of them as soon as they come off a gift. Gift wrap may contain traces of lead. Prevent children from chewing on it. TOY SAFETY Select toys to suit the age, abilities, and interest level of the child. Recommended age ranges are listed on the packages. Toys that are too advanced may pose safety hazards for younger children. Young children can choke on small parts contained in toys or games. Children under the age of 3 cannot have parts less than 1.25 inches in diameter and 2.25 inches long, per government regulations. Button batteries and magnets can be found in toys, musical greeting cards, remote controls, hearing aids, and other small electronics. They pose danger to children and can result in serious stomach and intestinal problems, including death. If a toy has a battery compartment that seems like it can be easily opened, you can tape over the area. If it still seems too accessible, consider keeping that toy away from your child until they are old enough to keep small items out of their mouth. Small, powerful magnets are part of some building toy sets, many of which have been recalled. Watch for strings and straps that are more than 12 inches in length, for example on pull toys. They could be a strangulation hazard for babies and small children. And remember: Infants & young children feel stress at holiday time, just as parents do. Take breaks! Play. Read a book. Cancel something! Sing. Dance! Cuddle. Enjoy.
By Amelia Kinsolving November 18, 2024
If you have a little human in your life, then you know that holiday plans and schedules can be a little bit complicated. How and when are we traveling? Is that going to create a nap problem or push bedtime too late? What food will be available? Should I pack snacks? What about toys? And if you have recently been working on potty-training, that throws another layer of complications and questions into the mix! So Here are 4 Tips for Holiday Events and Travel with your newly potty-trained kiddo! 1. Prepare For Accidents If you would love for your kiddo to wear a cute holiday outfit that matches their cousins, I suggest waiting until you arrive at your destination and your child has used the potty to put it on. You’ll want to pack extra outfits and shoes. You don’t want to feel like you have to leave early because there was an accident and your kiddo needs a new set of clothes. 2. Go Potty Right Before You Get In The Car To the absolute best of your abilities, you will want to have your kiddo go to the potty right before you get in the car. If you are not on a strict time schedule, you can just wait until they have a successful pee in the potty and then head to the car. If you need to leave at a specific time, you can use a when/then prompt. For example: When you put pee in the potty, then we will get in the car.” 3. Prepare For Public Bathrooms Or Have A Travel Potty You’ll want to have a plan for potty stops on the way. That could look like stopping somewhere or having a travel potty in your car. As a mom to a 3 year old person, my preference is the potty in the car. We have been loving the One Done Portable Potty Cup. Check out our shopping page for our favorite travel potty products. If you are planning for public bathrooms, think about what could make that experience easier for your kiddo. Is your child sensitive to loud noises? Would it be possible to have noise canceling headphones for them or use hand sanitizer and skip the sinks and loud hand dryers? 4. Prepare For Going Potty In A New Place When you arrive at a new place, even if it is a place your child has been to before, take them to go visit the bathroom. Just go see where it is and what it looks like here. You don’t need to put any pressure on them to use the potty during this first trip. It’s a fact finding mission. I also suggest bringing your little potty while traveling because that will allow your child to choose their comfortable and familiar potty and you won’t need to worry about what the potty set up looks like in this new environment. Building a solid potty learning foundation will help make taking those potty skills on the go easier. If the potty has become a struggle in your household or if you would like to have a plan before you get started, book a 15-minute Discovery Call and speak with one of our consultants to learn more about our one-on-one potty support. You might also be interested in: * Protecting Sleep Through The Holiday Season * Holiday Safety Dangers to Avoid
By Safer Babies October 22, 2024
Safer Babies has been keeping Philadelphia area families safe since 1999. With over 22,000 hours of childproofing experience, they know all too well the top reasons kids visit hospitals on Halloween and how to proactively avoid the trip! #1 EYE INJURIES Use soft, flexible props and weapons. Nothing sharp or rigid. #2 BURNS Make sure costumes, wigs and accessories are made of flame-resistant materials. Consider pumpkin painting as a jack-o-lantern alternative. Try a flameless candle or glow stick instead of a candle in jack-o-lanterns. Keep candlelit jack-o-lanterns, and all other candles, away from curtains and other flammable objects. Never leave candles unattended. #3 FALLS Avoid wearing long, baggy, loose, costumes or oversized shoes. Use face paint instead of masks that can obstruct vision. Make sure hats fit and will not slide down over the child's eyes. Go only to well-lit houses. Clear your own walkway of debris. #4 PEDESTRIAN COLLISION WITH VEHICLES A parent or responsible adult should always accompany young children. Use flashlights, and reflective tape on bags and costumes to be more visible. Cross only at corners. Stay on the sidewalk. If there's no sidewalk, walk facing traffic. Don't cross between parked cars. If you drive: drive extra slowly. Have children get out of the car curbside, not street-side.
By Amelia Kinsolving October 21, 2024
It’s Almost Halloween! There are already plenty of Trunk or Treats and Boo events taking place. As we approach the end of the month and the big trick or treat nights here are some things to consider from a sleep and potty-training perspective. 1. Sleep Remember that nights like this are few and far between and that it is ok to have a night that is out of your schedule. However, being prepared with a strategy to help you get back on track as quickly as possible will make this less disruptive. If you have had to work on sleep struggles before, you may need to return to the strategy that worked for a few nights after your “wacky” night. Potty-Training & Costumes If you are taking a kiddo who is newly potty-trained out for trick or treating, you will want to be very aware of their costume. Is it something they can maneuver on and off by themselves? If it’s not, can any adjustments be made to make it more potty-training friendly? For example, if it requires a leotard or body suit could you get an option that has snaps on the bottom versus something that would need to be pulled all the way down? Potty-Training & Bathroom Stops While you are out and about trick or treating you will want to have a bathroom plan. If you are too far from home, and the little one needs to go now, having an easy to carry travel potty option is likely your best bet. My absolute favorite for this is the one-done travel urinal cup . It easily fits in the side of my bag, and I can attest that the spill proof feature works! Having a plan always makes tricky things a little easier. If you get through the night and are having trouble getting your kiddo back into their sleep or potty routine, we are here to help! You might also be interested in: Avoid These Top 4 Safety Hazards This Halloween How To Handle Halloween Candy: Provide Don't Deprive As an Amazon Affiliate I earn from qualifying purchases.
baby awake too early
By Erica Desper October 20, 2024
The time change is swiftly approaching and parents are beginning to panic! I don’t blame you. If you have a sensitive little one like I do, the time change can wreak havoc on the family’s sleep for a long time. Bedtime will feel a full hour later to your child and a 6am wake-up call abruptly becomes a 5 am one! Here are some tips to help your family prepare for the change and transition more smoothly... Before the Change: O ption #1 – Do Nothing! If you have a child who is rather adaptable and well rested and who is waking at a reasonable time each morning you may be able to go with option #1 and do nothing in preparation for the change. When your family wakes that morning simply shift the day’s schedule and activities to the new clock times and roll with it. Your child may be a little overtired and feel free to offer naps and bedtime slightly earlier if needed but your child should adjust within a few days. They may continue to wake "too early" on future mornings though and you'll need a plan for that so be sure to keep reading, just in case. Before the Change: Option #2 – Shift the Schedule in Advance If you have a more sensitive child, one who is already overtired or waking too early in the morning (before 6 a.m.), you may want to consider shifting their schedule in advance of the change. Remember that sleep times on Sunday will feel a full hour later to your child and, for a sensitive child, can wreak havoc on sleep and their mood. For these kiddos consider approaching the transition gradually by spreading the time shift out over four nights rather than one. You can do this by shifting wake time, meals, naps and bedtime 15 minutes later each day. For example, if bedtime is 7:00 p.m., you could begin on Thursday night by shifting that to 7:15 p.m., then 7:30 on Friday night and 7:45 on Saturday night. By Sunday night bedtime would be 8:00 p.m. which will again be 7:00 on the new clock. For highly sensitive children you can slow that process down even more, shifting the schedule by just 5-10 minutes at a time and/or every 2-3 nights and starting farther in advance. After the Change: Option #3 – Split the Difference/Shift After the Fact If you are/were unable to shift the schedule in advance or, if you plan to do nothing but your child struggles with that, you can split the difference. To split the difference shift your child’s schedule earlier by 30 minutes the day the clocks change and another 30 minutes earlier the following day. For example, if nap usually falls at 9 am and you put baby down at 9 am on the new clock that will feel like 10 am to them, a full 60 minutes later than usual. To avoid too much overtiredness you can split the difference, putting baby down at 8:30am on the new clock so they feel only 30 minutes overtired. Then, the following day, shift another 30 minutes back to napping at their usual time of 9 am on the new clock. Of course you can do this same shift in smaller increments after the fact as well, taking more than 2 days to match up to the new clock times. When in doubt, ask yourself, "What time does it feel like to my child?" Then decide how you can adjust to nudge them past that and closer to the time we now want it to feel like. Many children will adjust in a few days but the most sensitive and least adaptable ones can take a couple of weeks to fully adjust... * Don' t Get Stuck! Y our goal is to shift sleep back to your child's typical sleep times but on the new clock rather than allow their schedule to shift a full hour earlier and get stuck there. * Keep it Dark & Boring Regardless of how early your child wakes, b e sure to keep them in their crib/bed/room until their normal wake time. During the process your child will likely wake earlier than usual (according to the clock but not according to your child!) for a time. Do not get them up or allow them to get up before the new desired time. Avoid exposing them to lights, screens, and activity before the desired goal time. Over time that will help to reset their internal clock and get their wake time back on track. * Reprogram Their Toddler Clock If you are using a toddler wake-up clock be sure to reprogram it to wake at the new goal wake time. Have them remain in their crib/bed/room until the clock wakes up. * Get Outside! Since our internal clocks are set by daylight, aim to go outside in bright sunlight for 20-30 minutes each morning after the change. This too will help to reset your child’s internal clock and get things back on track more quickly. As with all things parenting, remember, this too shall pass! If you need support to navigate the time change, early rising or another sleep challenge, learn more about how we can help.
Back to School Stress
By Erica Desper September 3, 2024
Who (else!) is feeling anxious about going back to school?! Here are some tips to lessen the stress, for you and your kiddo, from some of the resources in our Confident Parenting Village... Check on Sleep Timing & Totals “Give some thought to your child’s sleep schedule and totals. For most families, sleep schedules slip later in the summer and that requires being proactive about shifting back well in advance of the first day of school. Your goal is to find out what an adequate total of sleep is for your child (generally 11-11.5 hours through the elementary years), count back from the time they wake naturally or will need to wake to get ready for school without rushing, and start shifting their wake and sleep times toward that target as far as two weeks in advance. Helping your kiddo head into each day well rested will give them a head start at coping as well as ready to focus and learn.” - Erica Desper, Pediatric Sleep Consultant at Confident Parenting Talk About Feelings in Advance “Some kids are eager to return and some may be a bit apprehensive. Taking some time to plan ahead both with your child will help make the transition go a bit more smoothly. You might want to start a conversation with your child by saying something like, “So what are you thinking about how Kindergarten will be?” Or, “I’ve noticed that sometimes you say you are excited to start and other times I hear you say you’re nervous. Tell me more about that.” As your child begins to share, resist the urge to offer a solution. In a collaborative way, together, you and your child can come up with a plan to proactively address some of the challenges that may arise.” - Maria Sanders Parent Coach Make Weeknights Easier with Prepared Meals “Back to school is hectic and busy parents need to get meals they feel good about onto their family’s dinner tables without all the usual time and work. Consider stocking up on ready-to-cook meals for the first week or more, so your busy nights can be easy.” - Claire Guarino, Owner of HomeCooked Practice the Morning Routine “Practice the morning routine the weekend before school starts. Consider having a visual schedule if your child is having difficulty with transitioning to a new routine. Providing sensory input, for example, holding a fidget toy on the car or bus ride to school, and incorporating sensory breaks into their schedule can help your child remain calm and focused. Chewy or crunchy snacks after school can help calm a child down before starting homework. Have them sit in the 90/90/90 position for homework, or consider alternative seating including laying on the floor, sitting on an exercise ball, or doing homework outdoors. Be sure to include plenty of exercise to help get some energy out prior to starting homework after school! Stopping by a playground, homemade obstacle courses, or animal walks are great options.” - Stephanie Lint, Lead Physical Therapist and Founder of Play at Home Map Out & Delegate Responsibilities “Whether you're going back to work after maternity leave, sending your baby to daycare for the first time, or sending your kids back to school for the umpteenth year in a row, sitting down with your partner to map out everyone's schedules and assigning responsibilities ahead of time is key! Map out everyone's work, daycare, school and extracurricular schedules. Then, divide up drop-offs and pick-ups, and identify a back-up person for emergencies: a family member, friend or neighbor. Last but not least, when you're overwhelmed by your family's full calendar, think about what you might be able to outsource. Where is support most needed/helpful and what fits into your budget? Whether it's a meal service, a laundry service, or asking a family member or neighbor to carpool - every little bit helps!“ -Nicole Didizian, Founder of Main Line Family Education Eliminate School Lunch Struggles “School lunch is sensory overload. It is loud, distracting, and quick. Make a list of foods that your child already eats (no experiments) to help them stay fueled for the day. Also, practice having them open and eat everything in 20 minutes or less for optimal success.” -Kristin Quinn, Behavior Feeding Therapist at Toddlers and Tomatoes Give Yourselves Some Grace “When schedules change and new routines are being created, remember to give yourself some grace. Meal times may change, bedtimes may change, therapy schedules may change...that's all okay! Don't put too much pressure on keeping the "perfection". Life will find its rhythm again!” - Cara Fox, Lead Speech Language Pathologist and co-owner of TalkEatPlayGrow Prepare for Pottying at School “If your child potty trained over the school break, be sure to talk about what using the potty will look like at school. Ask questions like, “Mommy helps you use the potty at home. Who will you tell when you need to go at school?” Role play at home, taking turns being the teacher and the child who needs to go and walk through all the verbal & physical steps, from start to finish. Have them choose an object they can bring from home to school, in case they need something familiar to take to the bathroom with them. If possible, stop with them at the school bathroom at drop-off and pick-up, until they feel comfortable using it without you throughout the school day. Preparing in these ways will empower your child to keep their potty success going in the new environment. " - Bernadette Samuels, Certified Oh Crap Potty Training Consultant at Confident Parenting Let Some Things Go...But Plan to Get Them Back "The transition to back-to-school time can be rather hectic however, plan for your fitness to be interrupted. It is okay to take a week off to be there for your family to help ensure everyone settles into their routine. Yes, this may seem like a scary thought but here is how to allow for this time: 1. Schedule: Add your time-block in your calendar when your workout day/ time is leading up to the start of school, during the week of school, and the second week of school. 2. Plan for shorter workouts during the first week of school. A shorter workout is still effective! 3. One week off will not alter your progress towards your goals! Develop a short mantra where you can repeat it when you are feeling stressed that you cannot work out. For me, I simply remind myself of the focus for the week and look to the next week to see my workouts scheduled. Remember, fitness isn't about finding perfection, it is about developing resiliency with your progress." - Kathrine Bright, Postpartum Personal Trainer & Owner of KatFit Take Deep Breaths “Kids are intuitive. If you’re amped with anxiety, they’re gonna feel that. Tell yourself it’s okay that you feel distraught or anxious right now but try incorporating deep-breath breaks throughout your day, and pause for a literal breather whenever you feel the tension really starting to well up. Deep belly breaths help slow your heart rate and plug the flood of stress hormones like cortisol to your brain, making them instantly relaxing. And you can do them anytime, anywhere.” -Perri Shaw Borish, Founder of Wholeheart Maternal Mental Health Organize Outfits For The Week On Sunday Whether it's for you, or your children - spend 20 minutes on Sundays choosing an outfit for each day of the week and setting it aside in an organized system. Whether it's hanging outfits chronologically in the closet, purchasing a stack of dedicated drawers or using Ziploc bags in dresser drawers, choose whichever system works best for you and your family! Just know that the extra few minutes spent Sunday will save you and your family immensely on those hectic mornings! - Allyson & Mary Catherine Cofounders Of Lessen The Loads Laundry & Organizing Thank you to everyone for sharing their top tip and remember - parenting takes a village and you can find yours here. Learn about all the resources we've gathered in the Confident Parenting village and let us know how we can support your family!
By Erica Desper August 12, 2024
The back to school season tends to elicit a full array of emotions from parents and children alike. As much as you or they may be in the camp of "I'm not ready to think about it yet!" taking time now to ensuring your kiddo heads into the year well-rested will help them (and you!) survive and thrive. Listen and read on for actionable steps to support your neurotypical or neurodivergent child to head back to school well rested.
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